"Crazy Kenny"

Crazy Kenny
keeps a
snub-nosed .38
in his tackle box
for the anglers
dumb enough
to encroach upon
his fishing spot
on the
southbound
embankment
of the
Lake Guntersville
causeway.

Crazy Kenny
has enough size
and wild-eyed
abandon
to chase away
all
but the most
stalwart
fishermen.
For the ones
too proud
too stubborn
or, perhaps,
too mentally
unbalanced,
themselves,
to flee...
they get the gun.

Crazy Kenny
has yet to
shoot anybody
even on
a ricochet,
but he’s shown
enough
willingness
to squeeze off
a couple rounds
that,
more often times
than not,
his spot is empty.

Crazy Kenny
has yet to
catch a fish
there
or even
get a nibble
but he knows
if
he just sits there
on his bucket
long enough
eventually
he’ll get
what
is coming to him.



"Jarnge"

whenever the fever hits
Leldon Maze takes to the streets
toting a thirty pound replica
of Christ’s cross on his shoulder,
exact in every detail
except for the bicycle wheel
mounted to the bottom.

these thirty mile power walks
are Leldon’s way
of "testifying" or "witnessing"
or whatever
the religiously correct term for
preaching is
nowadays.

he’s traveled throughout Alabama
Georgia, Kentucky, Tennessee.
beginning with the Bible Belt
he hopes to set a Christian example
to all the heathens across America
by wheeling around this plywood cross.

in his dreams
the word "Jarnge" reoccurs
time and time again
leading Leldon to believe
God wants him
to take his mobile cross
to the people of Norway.

personally, I think
he should trade in
his Atlanta Braves cap for
an authentic crown of thorns
and nonbelievers ought
to be allowed to scourge him
along the way
if only to really bring home
the lesson of Christ’s suffering
to the man who needs it most.